Had an enormous evening on the beer after an attempt at a tasty homemade salmon dinner. Don't know if that was a good idea or not, I suspect not really. Woke up to discover I was back somewhere in the virgin territory of anger at this hateful situation I find myself in. Very offputting, very foreign and nothing I want to be feeling for her concerned; something that's maybe overdue though, supressing it was maybe a bad idea.

At that moment, I felt very shafted by people of whom I expected to never do that; by a situation that I could see coming for miles, but when I raised it I was told I was paranoid; by a network that's got good people on it, but put a foot wrong and you step on the vipers, who bite and indeed bit: I felt abandoned; forgotten like a single shot of spirits on a Saturday night bender. Betrayed? Hmmm, big and important word, not sure I like it. Jolly f*cking hockey sticks for those who still choose to be involved that shit. Not so good for those of us that end up bloodyed by it. The net giveth, the net taketh away. Damnation be on the net.

This doesn't get any easier, folks.

Got up, sat down, wrote a pithy letter that'll never be posted and tried to sane out a bit. Trod on a nail in bare feet. Oh well. If I vanish from here folks, it'll be tenanus. My cat goes to my mother to look after if I snuff it, ok?

Still a bit of Kurganning going on here, so it's day 3 on the sick. Should be back to my, ahem, "best", mwahahah, by Monday. I have to be in town later; a few months back I had my back waxed as a suprise for FLoH; today I'm having it redone. No idea why. I must be sick in the head, or turning gay.