A day of contrasts so far. Dragged myself into the fun factory for the first day back of entertainment after sickness. Wasn't to be honest in the mood for it, and I'm already more than a little tired of the machine nature of the work; no time for prep or consolidation, just out, out, out all the time. Haven't had any real time to educate myself since I've been back, mentoring is non existant. I'm suprised they've got the cheek to have the Investors in People plaque on the front office. But anyway. Dragged myself through a couple of routine stop and searches off the morning arrival, then back to the ranch to go straight out again for another. Got txt's from a few folks during the morning; it's nice to be remembered, including one from a very welcome voice from the recent past who cheered me, although who has had quite a shite afternoon, which which I empathise muchly! It wasn't that that cheered me, honest ! ! !

Seems it's the season for stress, one of my mates on my old team is chucking his partner out, empathy exhanged on the doorstep as he was having a fag break looking rough as I left; not so much tea and sympathy as sypmpathy and a promise of beer the first time he's available. Why is there just so much shite about at the moment? Three of my mates under the shrink, at least two more with shite relationships, my dad spilling his guts about an enormous longtime forbidden love that resulted in me? If I believed in any synchronicity, I'd believe someone was playing games. However, being the pragmatic sort, I actually suspect that life is just shite.

Quack is booked for tomorrow afternoon. About time too. As worried as I am about it, I want this short breath business identified for what it is, even if it's scary, and sorted. I'm having a strange time at the moment, and I want to do something about it; hit the gym will do for a warm up, hit the pool for afters, then the bike and whatever I have to do but there's no point if you have to be dragged out on a stretcher afterwards. I have to get this stuff sorted, I have things to do with life, hills to climb and miles to walk;they won't be sorted looking at my gym gear turn green in the bag.