Christine
I'm renaming my car. Rechristening is not appropriate, unless it's a satanic ceremony. The bastard is cursed, I'm sure of this. Or should that be bitch? So, Crap Gay Coloured Honda is no more. Say hello to Christine*. The devil's daughter.
This morning. Baz the Bike, my mate and mech' turns up at Fortress Shadey to start the engine rebuild. We push the dilapidated bitch off the road where "the man who can" left her, and onto the drive, under the car port for covered working. To do this, we wind down the windows so we can push. Nothing especially complex or new there. I get back in to wind the drivers side window back up. Something inside the door has zigged where it should have zagged, there's moment of small resistance and "PHOOMecksxxxxx", the window explodes covering me in toughened glass. Various bits sticking out of me. No, nothing important hit, thanks for asking.
But this is bloody silly. Within one month, the battery, the exhaust, the radiator, the cylinder head and now the window. Decision made. Patchup repairs to get me back on the road in the short term, then this bitch is being replaced. I might even take a hit of a couple of hundred quid to not sell it onto some other poor sucker, but to petrol bomb the evil cowbag myself.
Anyway. Quote of the day from Clarkson. Well, quote of yesterday really, but I was too knackered to think about writing yesterday. "Jade Goody is a racist, pig faced waste of skin and organs". No Jezza, don't sit on the fence mate, tell us what you really feel. Enjoyed the return of Hamster to Top Gear; although the bloke was clearly very embarrassed by the attention, and the fact that they made him walk down a staircase flanked by showgirls. Heheheh. Although his bit to camera just before his crash that "possibly the biggest accident you've ever seen in your life" when describling the 10,000bhp afterburner was unfortunate :o).
*By the way, shame on anybody that thought from the title that this was going to be about some local slapper I'd run into, or simla. You know I lead a life of monastic simplicity here up north and don't do anything like that, avoiding the evil machinations of women....
This morning. Baz the Bike, my mate and mech' turns up at Fortress Shadey to start the engine rebuild. We push the dilapidated bitch off the road where "the man who can" left her, and onto the drive, under the car port for covered working. To do this, we wind down the windows so we can push. Nothing especially complex or new there. I get back in to wind the drivers side window back up. Something inside the door has zigged where it should have zagged, there's moment of small resistance and "PHOOMecksxxxxx", the window explodes covering me in toughened glass. Various bits sticking out of me. No, nothing important hit, thanks for asking.
But this is bloody silly. Within one month, the battery, the exhaust, the radiator, the cylinder head and now the window. Decision made. Patchup repairs to get me back on the road in the short term, then this bitch is being replaced. I might even take a hit of a couple of hundred quid to not sell it onto some other poor sucker, but to petrol bomb the evil cowbag myself.
Anyway. Quote of the day from Clarkson. Well, quote of yesterday really, but I was too knackered to think about writing yesterday. "Jade Goody is a racist, pig faced waste of skin and organs". No Jezza, don't sit on the fence mate, tell us what you really feel. Enjoyed the return of Hamster to Top Gear; although the bloke was clearly very embarrassed by the attention, and the fact that they made him walk down a staircase flanked by showgirls. Heheheh. Although his bit to camera just before his crash that "possibly the biggest accident you've ever seen in your life" when describling the 10,000bhp afterburner was unfortunate :o).
*By the way, shame on anybody that thought from the title that this was going to be about some local slapper I'd run into, or simla. You know I lead a life of monastic simplicity here up north and don't do anything like that, avoiding the evil machinations of women....
posted by Fred the Singing Bandit at 11:27 am
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