Slow death of the bitch from hell

Christine the Hellmouth Honda, that is.... shortly to be given the last rites. Consuming oil faster than Esso can produce it, overheating like a porn star on crack cocaine, the gig is almost up. The replacement is sitting on the drive, waiting for the legalities to be sorted out before it can be taken on road and then it's over; new bits taken off for transplant surgery - my car carries a donor card - and then a one way trip to the can factory. Actually, speaking of such cards, I carry a doner card. I wish someone else to have my kebab after my death. NewMotor needs a couple of bits of tarting cosmetically, but other than that appears a sound waggon and will do for a year or so. And here's where I need a hand; need a name for a odd, gold'ish coloured (yes, the tradition of buying cars with weird colour scheme continues) Vectra, any of you creative folks got any ideas? A pint for the winner. To kick things off, Goldie Lookin' Motor (GLM)? "Oi man, your driver is a nutter"?

Unfortunately, the non running status of NewMotor, the terminal status of Christine and the non arrival back of the MileEater coupled with the extremely empty status of my bank balance has had an affect. Poverty strikes, boys and girls - damned be both unexpected, non standard utility bills, their evil originators and the finite nature of overdrafts - meaning that I'm sat here when I should be heading west to pay my respects to Pam, who's having her final hurrah today. Now there's going to be people there from netland I don't want to see, but let's get this clear - that's not an issue here - plus there's going to be people there I really DO want to see and the important core business of the day is paying respects to someone whom I remember as a damned nice lady, pure and simple. No scandalmonger, not a whiff of the taint of the usual netlife rubbish that goes on. Just a very pleasant woman I regret not making the time to get to know better. Not at all pleased about being stranded east of the A1 by empty wallet and lack of viable transport; but I've found somewhere to pay respects locally when the events are taking place... not the sort of place I'd normally frequent but it's totally appropriate.

Back in the world of the financially less annoyed; had a bit of joy at work which has had me running around like a busy busy person for the last few days. Yesterday was supposed to be my day off prior to the weekend, ended up working all of it clearing up things that had to be done. At this risk of sounding totally pretentious, I can't post details here - coz I really can't - but what started off as a bit of a mooch around for the team and a half hearted attempt at something mainly for practise turned very quickly into something really rather groovy, a four hour shift extension and a ruined rest day in that order. We are pleased, other folks are less so. But hell, it's kept us busy.

Oh and fans of the Pirates of the Caribbean series will be distressed to learn that part three is hereby cancelled. Judging from the small corpse at the foot of my bed, Jack Sparrow met Gizmo and a terrible fate in that order at some point in the small hours. Oh well, just have to wait for the next Harry Potter then...