Make somebody's day

Ah, the joys of news feed to my desk. Was sitting there - one, two days ago, who knows - texting my friend in the Sedgefield constituency to confirm what was only rumour to her, that they'd be needing a new MP up there as Captain Grin had decided that what with running around the Middle East that he's going to be doing, he couldn't spend any time up there... like he ever had anyway. I spend so much time dishing out bad news to folks, it makes a nice change to send something that's going to make someone smile. I wonder what the price on his head is going to be out east. I wonder what price William Hill's will give me against him not seeing out the year.

Speaking of which, and jumping slightly up to date, I see the purveyors of things that go bang have attempted to mark Mr Brooon's* ascendancy to the throne with a couple of suitable fireworks in central London. A good job the Irish weren't behind it, or they'd be scraping the city centre population off the buildings as we speak. As it is, the reports indicate the perp's used the ever popular and discrete "nervously park your bombed car really badly and leg it in a really conspicous manner" before demonstrating that as potent as Improvised Explosive Devices can be (and this one was really rather nasty), it's all for naught if you don't know how to make the fuse go bang. And speaking futher of bangs, I see our new Security Tzar (how long before the tabloid's start calling him that...? Do I get first copyrite?) knows a thing or two about things that go bang. He's the Admiral that when serving down south as a Commander in 1982 had the frigate Ardent blown out from under him courtesy of the Argentine Air Force.

*Pending a decent nickname....