Mikey in Valentines day secret engagement shocker

Hahahahah. That got ya's. As if I'd do anything so stupid. No seriously, it's a wind up. Made ya's look though. Actually treating the Valentine Corporation Marketting Division's busy day of the year with the utter contempt that it deserves.

Last night, a sensible night in was the order of the day, or at least the order of the night, drinking mineral water to aid my recovery from surgery. Honest guv. To add confusion to the mix we sent the decoys out to eat large steak sandwiches; kebabs; drink enormous quantities of very fine beer; very fine tequilla; horrid overpriced, overmarketed, bottled pisswater cider flavoured beverage; smoke strange brown cigarettes; party til stupid o'clock in the morning in a dingy nightclub and pour aforementioned horrid pisswater over the heads of complete wanks who really, really deserved it. The decoys did a very fine job of it - you'd not actually catch US doing that sort of thing, that'd just be silly.

Curiously, even though we had a sensible night in and let the decoys do all the dangerous stuff, today there seems a curious fug in the air. Bodies all over the place, reports coming in of friends making it home at mad o' clock and being at work an hour later, a general feeling of lethargy from the occupants of the Fortress, even the cat's aren't doing much. It's funny, that. It's almost as if the decoys have actually used US to decoy their own hangovers. Very strange. I may have to study this phenomena in some detail. I shall do it indoors. Wearing a duvet over my head and drinking a lot of tea.